My Friend Doesn't Hesitate 42.75

ACT42.75     What Exists Together With Her Kindness?


「――Is, that so.」


From the beginning, she was prepared to be rejected.

After all, it was a sudden confession from a stranger who was, moreover, a girl, the same sex. The probability of acceptance was extremely low.

That was why, even if she was refused, she would feel like she had gotten a weight off her shoulders from conveying the feeling in her chest... at least, that's what she had told herself, though as expected, she felt like crying a little afterwards, but she had expected as much.

However.

From Haijima-senpai's way of rejection, for some reason, Shia was able to see into the depths of her heart.


「Hajima-senpai, you're a kind person, aren't you.」


When she noticed, those words had come out.


「Kind? Me?」

「Yes.」

「I flatly rejected your confession without any consideration, which I think is exactly opposite of the descriptor kind?」

「After all. Haijima-senpai, you were hurt a little from refusing my confession.」

「――――」


Haijima-senpai's shoulders twitched.

Just from that gesture, it looked like Shia's conjecture was correct.


「Since it's Haijima-senpai, you've probably received confessions like mine in the past.」

「............」

「But they never led to romantic feelings, and while thinking you want to focus on yourself, afterward, you always worried about the feelings of the person you rejected. And it always hurt a little.」

「...... Stop.」

「Even though you purposely act matter-of-fact, you can't help but sympathize with the other party.」

「Stop.」

「Probably, the Haijima-senpai I've seen from afar is that kind of person. That's exactly why I――」

「Didn't I tell you to stop?」


Haijima-senpai looked at her calmly, but with a penetratingly cold tone.

The gaze behind her glasses was so cold that if she hadn't known anything about her true nature, she probably would have either instantly cowered in fear or run away screaming.

In fact, Shia felt a shiver run down her spine, but she still didn't look away.


「Could you not be so bluntly invasive about a person's feelings? It's very unpleasant.」

「...... I'm sorry.」

「If you had said any more, I might have strangled you.」

「I think that's impossible. Haijima-senpai is――」

「Because I'm a kind person? I wonder about that. Right now, I could shower you with all the cruelest words I can think of――」

「I think you probably can't do that. If you did, that would hurt Haijima-senpai as much as it would hurt me.」

「Ugu, mu............ haa～～～～～」


Holding her head with one hand, Haijima-senpai slumped, looking down and exhaling heavily.

Her cold demeanor gradually melted. Despite that, she didn't have the composure Shia had always sensed when she watched her from afar... she had a mixed expression on her face, a little like she was about to cry.


「... Immediately after entering high school.」

「Huh?」

「I was confessed to for the first time. Moreover, from a girl in the same class.」


When Haijima-senpai started speaking as if she were talking to herself, Shia was puzzled for a moment, but somehow, she was able to understand.

However, it seemed it was a bitter past for her.


「At first, I was incredibly bewildered. I knew about that sort of thing from novels and manga, but when I actually encountered it myself, you know...」

「............」

「It would be a new life experience, so I did consider accepting for that reason, but in the end, I couldn't. Once I made up my mind to refuse, I did so, and although that girl felt refreshed, it was still awkward. After that, even though we were in the same class, that girl and I never talked again.」

「...... Senpai.」

「Moreover, that sort of thing happened more than once or twice. A girl from another class, or a senpai. As you might expect, I felt a little defeated.」


She took a breath.


「But... in the midst of such days, there was a girl I myself was a little interested in.」

「Eh?」

「At that time, she was the first friend I made in my class, however... she was always absent-minded, and I never knew what she was thinking, but for some reason, I couldn't leave her alone; a very adorable girl.」

「... That person is...」

「However, as someone who thoroughly rejected confessions from the same sex, I thought it would be wrong to do the same myself, and I couldn't take that step. As those days repeated, we became second years, and that girl I was interested in ended up in a different class.... before long, time ran out.」

「Time ran out?」

「Mm, before I knew it, she had become close with a younger male student. After that... started an irritatingly passionate love. To the point that I found myself rooting for them.」


She looked rather careless, but was smiling wryly

For some reason, while looking at the library reception counter, Haijima-senapi took a deep breath.


「My consideration and kindness for the girls I rejected backfired, and I myself lost my chance. You can laugh if you want.」

「I, can't do that.」

「... Well, whatever. And so I decided. For now, I'll have nothing to do with that kind of thing, and take more care of myself. If someone makes an advance on me, I'll push them away coldly.... But, I still have a long way to go. No matter what, I can't suppress the fraying of my heart.」

「That's what makes Haijima-senpai kind.」


After listening to everything, Shia thought.

Even though she intended to be kind to herself, she couldn't do it no matter what.

On the contrary, when she encountered such scenarios, she hurt another person and hurt herself.

Calm, mature, and seemingly perfect... Haijima Shinon was a very clumsy person.

But it was exactly because she was like that,


「I think it's good that Haijima-senpai is kind to everyone.」

「...... Saijou-san?」

「And so, if Senpai says you can't be kind to yourself.」


This feeling, directly.



「I will always be kind to Senpai. More than anyone.」

「――――」



Shia said calmly, and exactly as stated, kindly.

Haijima-senpai's eyes opened wide behind her brass glasses... and then, her cheeks were dyed just a little red.


「You... you look reserved, but you really step in without hesitation.」

「That's just how much I like Haijima-senpai. And the more I learn about Shenpai...」


She fumbled her words.


「Mm?」

「Ah, no, um, ahem. The more I learn, about, Haijima-senpai... th-the more I want to, know... auu.」


And she couldn't finish saying it.

At the crucial moment, this falling at the last hurdle attribute showed up again――


「...... Pu―」


Haijima-senpai's embarrassed expression did a complete change, and she burst into laughter in the blink of an eye.


「Fu...... ha, ahahahahaha. Y-you're supposed to say it properly at that point, right!?」

「I-I’m sorry...... a-at the most important times, I......」

「Geez, seriously, don't make me laugh right after shocking me. Are you, perhaps, a person who falls terribly at the last hurdle?」

「Auuuu... th-that's often said about me...」

「Even though you were acting so boldly until a moment ago, why are you drawing back? What's with that gap!? Ahahahaha!」


It seemed her funny bone had been tickled. While holding her stomach, Haijima-senpai couldn't stop laughing

Embarrassing.

Even though she was able to straightforwardly say what she wanted to say up until just a moment, after fumbling her words just once, she had fallen into this withered predicament.

Like this, isn't being kind to Haijima-senpai a pie in the sky dream...!?


「Haー, that's funny...... haa. Hey, Saijou-san.」


When Shia was trembling and torturing herself, it seemed Haijima-senpai finally calmed down.

Even though a little of her amused atmosphere remained, she was almost back to normal, and calmly looking at her,


「I realize I rejected you a little while ago, but. I've gotten a little interested in you.」

「Eh......?」


That was to say.


「I haven't fallen in love with you or anything yet, but I'd like to be your friend and get to know you. How about it?」

「Ah... y-yes! I also want to know more about Haijima-sh, senpai...」

「... So after you've stammered once, you can't stop. Well, that might be part of what makes you interesting.」

「Auu...」

「So, well.」

「? Se-Senpai.」


Softly, Haijima-senpai held out her hand,



「――From now on, let's get along well, Shia-chan.」



「――――」


When her name was called in a very gentle voice, she felt a shock.

Aah.

After all, I love her.

Shia thought again.

The finish line was still nowhere close to being in sight, and the road was very, very long, but... simply taking her hand,


「Y-yes!」


She felt like she could go anywhere.

For Saijou Shia, this was the real starting line.


　　☆　　★　　☆　　★　　☆　　★


「Well then, Haijima-senpai. I'll excuse myself.」

「Yes, see you next time, Shia-chan.」


After seeing Shia-chan out of the library, I return to the reception counter.


「... Conversation, done?」

「Nn. Thank you for taking over for me, Konoe. It's okay now.」


The stand-in for my library reception work, my best friend――the girl I formerly had faint feelings for, Komori Konoe, called out to me, and as I answered with a smile.

Sitting down next to Konoe, I take a deep breath.


「Haa... I'm a bothersome girl in many ways, aren't I...」

「......? What's, wrong?」

「No, well, you know. I look nonchalant, but even I didn't understand the extent to which that wasn't true. And a girl I met for the first time was able to correctly guess that.」

「...But, Shinon-chan, now, you're making a better face than usual?」

「Really?」


It's just as Konoe said.

While I won't say completely, it seems the fraying of my heart has reduced quite a bit. Somehow, my body feels lighter than usual.

All of that――



「... Think you'll become close, with that girl?」

「――――」



And while I was thinking about this and that.

Although Konoe asked me this question with a faint smile, I have slightly mixed feelings.

Truly. She's absent-minded, and it's hard to tell what she's thinking, but sometimes, this girl is incredibly sharp...and yet, I think her smile has gotten even cuter. Especially since she became close with her junior boyfriend.

... Let's stop thinking about that. I'll answer that question for now.


「Well, I guess that depends on the future.」

「... That's true. Good for you, Shinon-chan.」

「What?」

「...... Many things.」


She looks very satisfied.

...... Perhaps, just like that girl, Konoe saw through the recent fraying of my heart.

Truly, this girl.


「Konoe.」

「... What, Shinon-chan?」

「Even if I become close with that girl in the future, I will always love Konoe.」

「... I also, love Shinon-chan.」

「Hehー. How much?」

「... You come after my mom and Youta-kun, but as a girl friend, I love Shinon-chan the most.」

「You're saying such a happy thing to me, geez. This girl. This girl, this girl!」

「... Fufu. Close friends, nice.」


When I said the word love to her, it came out naturally.

When she said the word love to me, it came out naturally.

Even though we had that exchange, the inside of my chest didn't throb; it just made me smile.



My first love is already over.

And something new is starting inside me.



Setting aside whether or not that girl is at the center of it.

Exactly as I said earlier, I think there will be various possibilities depending on the future.

――I'm just a little excited.